Have you ever been really excited about something new, only to quit shortly after starting because you weren’t getting good enough or seeing the fruits of your effort as fast as you had thought you would? I certainly have.
In a modern digital era, everything is at the end of our fingertips. With the click of a button, you can call someone on the other side of the world, buy new clothes, order your favorite food, all without any hassle or need for any real effort. Could this be detrimental to our growth?
As a species, we are becoming too fixated on the result, the destination, the reward. We are now more than ever able to get a quick fix of dopamine through social media, addictive substances, video games, online shopping, etc. Dopamine plays a role in the reward pathways in your brain, creating a chemical cascade that makes you feel good after a certain task or activity. This could be anything from finishing an intense workout, finalizing your final essays or exams, or reaching a goal you have been working towards. The presence of social media among other factors means we can see someone’s highlights, or them in their prime state and our brains can be fooled into feeling the emotions that come with that – cue dopamine hit. This can cycle many times without any effort, so when it comes to having to put off that dopamine hit by having to work hard to achieve the result, we have a hard time doing that, knowing we can “feel satisfied” with minimal effort and no real gain.
What’s important to remember is that everything you see on social media and the internet is the highlights. This is where people put up the best and most appealing versions of themselves or a result. But what isn’t shown is the months or even years of work and dedication that goes into achieving that. What we want is success, in whatever field or activity we are called to. But what we don’t want is the hard work, persistence, late nights, rejections, sacrifices, discipline, criticism, doubts, failures and risks.
It’s important to play the long game. Delay the dopamine hit and gratification for a far more meaningful reward. Often people will start something new and dive in with immense intensity and enthusiasm, which is awesome, but it’s not always sustainable. You are a product of what you do consistently, this means that with any goal or result you want to achieve it’s more important to be consistent in your habits and actions at a lower intensity long term than to go guns blazing over a short period. The reward will come with time.
Occasionally in practice, I will have people ask me how long something is going to take or tell me they are disheartened about their rate of progress so far and I can often sense their feeling of frustration with having to play a long game. One of my favorite quotes is from the late, great Mac Miller; “People often quit because they are more focused on how much further they have to go, rather than acknowledging how far they have come”. It’s key to note that any short-term satisfaction or “quick fix” will only ever yield a short-term result. Those who put in the time, effort, the care, and work are those who reap the most fulfilling rewards.
Everything in life is not about the destination, whether that’s your health, your business or your family, it’s all about enjoying the process and playing for your future. If the destination or reaching that goal is all you’re focused on you will continually find yourself satisfied only momentarily and never truly fulfilled.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on your own journey and growth, not what others are doing or where they are at. Always remember how far you have come, continually grow 1% better every day in any way possible. Play the long game and prosper.
The last thing to grow on a tree is the fruit.